he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
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