Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I love how my cats smell like pot.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
