due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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