i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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