Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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