i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
