Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure