so I'm never txting u again after today...
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"