All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
