I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
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I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
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I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao