You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.