Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
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