I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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