Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
