If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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