Just fell off a train. Bad.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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