One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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