I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
