Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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