We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
