Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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