Your face is a jimmy john
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize