I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
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