too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
