It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
