He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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