ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
No I am not eating basil off your cock
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
