I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Randomize
