And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
