Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.