I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
