do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
