The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
