my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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