Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
