just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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