I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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