dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
