My brain says no but my pants say off.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
