After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
