It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize