Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
