What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
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Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
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You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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