didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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