operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize