The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
