K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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