there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
