Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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