i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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