You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
