i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I could make wine with my vomit
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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