brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize