I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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