this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
