I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Randomize