I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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