So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
