Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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