should my penis look like a turkey
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
