Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
