I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
