yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
