i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?